"Golden Globes 2025: Nikki Glaser Brings the Show Back to Its Hilarious, Chaotic Roots"

 The host grasped the essence of the Globes: getting celebrities intoxicated and allowing their Hollywood egos to take center stage.

Nikki Glaser during the 82nd Annual Golden Globes

January 6, 2025

You did it, Golden Globes. You’ve made it to 2025.

It’s almost unbelievable, but the sheer, unyielding persistence of the Golden Globes is so unexpected, it’s genuinely heartwarming. Just a couple of years ago, it seemed like the end for the wildest, messiest, tackiest, most chaotic award show in Hollywood. No network would even air it anymore. But who doesn’t love a comeback story? And now, here they are, back at the forefront of awards season, thanks to new host Nikki Glaser, who brought the fun right from the start, calling the event “Ozempic’s biggest night!”

The Globes have had their resurrection moments before—remember how Ricky Gervais single-handedly resurrected the show in 2010 by turning it into a savage spectacle? Then Tina Fey and Amy Poehler stepped in for a legendary four-year run. But last year’s host, Jo Koy, was a disaster, setting the bar so low the devil’s probably using it as a toilet brush. The stars were painfully polite, trying way too hard to make it a classy affair. No one even made a drunken slip-up, except when Kieran Culkin trash-talked Pedro Pascal onstage, yelling, “Suck it, Pedro!” Fortunately, Nikki Glaser understands exactly what the Globes are about: gathering Hollywood’s elite at the Beverly Hills Hilton, getting them liquored up, and letting their egos run wild. (The Globes are owned by Dick Clark Productions, which is partly owned by PMC, also the parent of Rolling Stone.) Darling Nikki opened with a monologue packed with zingers like “two-time Holocaust survivor Adrien Brody” and quips about Wicked, Queer, and Nightbitch being “not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms.” She also joked that Challengers was “more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card.” The closest she got to a Ricky/Tina/Amy-style roast was telling Keith Urban, “Keep strumming, you kooky koala.” But Nikki’s funniest moment came in her mid-show recap. “Everywhere you look, there’s a Fanning!” she exclaimed. “Elle! Dakota! Peyton! Ah, the air is thick with the smell of signature fragrances and the lingering stench of ballroom salmon.” She even gave a hilarious breakdown of the night’s shout-outs during acceptance speeches: Cast and Crew topped the list with 11 mentions, followed by Moms with 3. “God, creator of the universe, zero mentions. And Mario Lopez, host of Access Hollywood, one.” (The Mario mention came from Kieran again, making the most of his time in the spotlight.) Glaser also honored actresses making comebacks this year. “If you’re a woman over 50 in a lead role, they call it a comeback,” she said. “If you’re a guy over 50 in a lead role, congratulations! You’re about to play Sydney Sweeney’s boyfriend.”

The night came closest to real Hollywood drama when Vin Diesel grinned and waved to his arch-nemesis Dwayne Johnson (the Joan Crawford to Vin’s Bette Davis), sitting just a few feet away on live TV. But The Rock, ever the pro, kept his composure and didn’t take the bait. Vin presented the weird new prize for Cinematic and Box Office Achievement (a.k.a. the “That’s What The Money’s For” award), which went to Wicked. Tragically, Vin then had to give a speech about how movies remind us we’re all one big family—he looked like a man struggling to read poetry off a teleprompter. Colin Farrell, on the other hand, delivered one of the night’s best moments with his hilarious, freewheeling acceptance speech for The Penguin, joking, “Guess it’s prosthetics from here on out.” He finished with an epic tribute to craft service: “Carolina, God bless you, you kept the whole crew going! Craft serviiiiiice!”

Demi Moore also won big, securing the Best Actress award for The Substance and giving a speech that touched on her 40-year career. “Today, I celebrate this as a marker of my wholeness!” she declared, leading us to wonder why she didn’t win for St. Elmo’s Fire, where she shared one of her most memorable moments with Rob Lowe. Glitches were bound to happen—it’s the Golden Globes, after all. For one, the bubble captions under stars’ faces were outdated and ridiculous, making them seem like something out of Pop-Up Video. No one needs to be reminded that The Rock holds a Guinness World Record for the most selfies taken in three minutes—he’s The Rock.

The voiceover guy was another problem. He just wouldn’t stop talking, even cutting off speeches. The worst moment came when Jodie Foster won for True Detective: Night Country and had a fun back-and-forth with Sofia Vergara, only for us to miss it because the voiceover guy was explaining that the show was filmed in Iceland. (We all know that now, thanks.)

Elton John had the night’s most unexpected “did he really say that?” moment when he appeared on stage with Brandi Carlile and made a joke about his vision struggles before adding, “I’m pleased to be here with my co-host, Rihanna!” His infectious laugh made the moment even more delightful.

All evening, teleprompters malfunctioned, resulting in some painfully awkward moments. Gal Gadot summed up the night’s uninspired presenter banter with her comment, “In a night that’s given us some amazing moments, let’s continue with the amazingness.” Other presenters like Ariana DeBose and Ke Huy Quan seemed lost, while Catherine O’Hara’s line, “What an honor it is to be here at one of America’s most prestigious award shows!” sounded like the setup to a joke—sadly, it wasn’t.

The Jaqueline Bissett Award for the most leisurely stroll to the stage went to Camille and Clement Ducol, who won for Emilia Pérez, and took their sweet time making their way to the podium. Zoe Saldaña was in hot pursuit, but the pair finally made it, with Camille exclaiming, “This is such an American experience!” Zoe, meanwhile, claimed the award for Best Actress with an emotional speech, uttering a bleeped “Holy f*ck!” and crying as if she’d won an Oscar.

Other standout moments included Jeremy Allen White winning Best Actor for The Bear, even though he wasn’t there to accept it because he was in Atlantic City (doing a favor for someone, we presume). Timothée Chalamet had the night’s most forlorn expression as he tried to mask his disappointment when Adrien Brody won Best Actor. Don’t worry, Timmy—you’re going to clean up at the Oscars.

Shōgun, The Brutalist, and Emilia Pérez were the big winners of the night. But as Nikki Glaser put it, “The point of making art is not winning an award. The point of making art is to start a tequila brand so popular you never have to make art again.” And somehow, that sums up the Golden Globes perfectly. See you next year, Nikki.